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I hate my english, so pardon me if my journal is un-understand-able.
man, 1 April huh? honestly I'm scared.
I doubt my self, which is a lazy bun, can get back to these studious enviroment.
the more I think about what will happened to me on there, the more I want to run away.
I'm still in love with internet, tumblr and Arashi, I just begin my relationship with Seiji senpai, and I don't wanna lose him and them(okay, ignore this).
I don't wanna bothering my life with mendokusei thing, aaaa~~ I don't get it! I wanna lazying aroouund~
I don't wanna do this, can I do this alone?, in case I can't get any friend because language gap, what should I do?
What if they found out that I'm stupider than I look?
I wish I was a zombie.
man, 1 April huh? honestly I'm scared.
I doubt my self, which is a lazy bun, can get back to these studious enviroment.
the more I think about what will happened to me on there, the more I want to run away.
I'm still in love with internet, tumblr and Arashi, I just begin my relationship with Seiji senpai, and I don't wanna lose him and them(okay, ignore this).
I don't wanna bothering my life with mendokusei thing, aaaa~~ I don't get it! I wanna lazying aroouund~
I don't wanna do this, can I do this alone?, in case I can't get any friend because language gap, what should I do?
What if they found out that I'm stupider than I look?
I wish I was a zombie.
twitter is a poison
hey, sup? long time no see. Lately I got into twitter too much, like having addiction. morning wake up, I open twitter. in toilet, twitter. nothing to do, twitter. on the go, twitter. at night wanna sleep, nope, twitter first. I hate this kind of me. It makes me feel stupid, empty head, no life. I need another supplement for my brain.
No progression
Hey ssup. Not a best week here. Had breakdowns here and there for 3 days. felt overwhelmed at work and just wanted to run break the door out and go far away not coming back. and I actually did it. I skipped work just for get out from that hell. I became a work paranoid. I keep feel unsafe and need to escape asap. People around looks like still unwelcomed me. Boss like doesn't know what to do with me neither do I. I need a medication, I don't have energy to do therapy.
today's
hey ssup? it's been a centuries huh? anyway, long short story, today I skipped work and not telling my 'new' boss. it was unplanned at all. I wake up early, took shower, ate breakfast, get dressed, put make up on... but I kept whispering and half yelling to my self that 'I don't wanna go to work!' I was struggling to get up on my feet and drag it to get out from my room, but I couldn't the thought that I'll be in the office doing nothing and absolutely nothing, not even to talk to the office mates makes me anxious , uncomfortable. I hate that. so, instead of that, I went to get lunch outside and get a cup of starbucks to add another lump of my anxiety. I had breakdown last week, and I think tonight I'll get another one. I just can't help this uneasy feeling. I don't understand Should I get help?
Day 128th
I think I will be jobless for the rest of my life.
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Welcome back~ 